We hear all kinds of talk today about godly marriage, especially among Christian psychologists who refer to the rate of divorce among evangelical Christians. No argument here divorce is running rampant in our society and nothing seems to place it in check. So what gives? Why do church folks have the same divorce problem as their counter parts who don’t attend church? I just gave you the answer, being a church going person does not make you a born again Christian. The Bible gives you and I some very specific information about what makes a godly marriage and simply coming to church is not necessarily one of them.
When we get married we hear the words “what God has joined together let no man put asunder.” What constitutes God joining two people together? Let me start by telling you what isn’t meant. A few poetic words spoken by a minister or pastor does not mean God has joined you together. In 2 Corinthians 6:14 the Apostle Paul tells us “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” This verse refers to ALL associations the born again Christian has, including marriage.
Remember in Matthew 24:37 “But as the days of Noe [were], so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.” What was taking place during the days of Noah? Well in Genesis 6:1-3 we read “¶ And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them, That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they [were] fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose. And the LORD said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also [is] flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years.” The godly line of Seth was intermarrying with the ungodly line of Cain, they were unequally yoked and it angered God. That is exactly what is taking place today, born again believers are intermarrying unbelievers and justifying any way they can. Most often a young woman or man that isn’t born again becomes attracted to a born again believer. Unfortunately, very seldom does the Christian see the non-Christian converted. Usually the one who is lost will tell the Christian anything he or she wants to hear (including lying about their salvation) in order to fulfill their sexual desires. Often this winds up in marriage and when the sexual thrill is gone so is the spouse that is really lost.
So what is the answer? Born again Christians must learn how to live a disciplined life. We must learn that the lost and the saved cannot be yoked together, in marriage, business or any endeavor. Christian men and women must walk close enough to God for His presence to lead them in choices they make. A true Christian will have a godly testimony. He or she will be established in Church, working there and will be able to discuss salvation with you from a personal experience, not just repeating what they have heard from others. The spirit of God will direct the actions of Christians who have a godly walk.
What about the marriage that began with both man and woman lost and neither knowing Jesus as Lord and Savior, then one of them gets saved but the other rejects the Lord? Or one spouse comes out admitting they are not saved and have no intention of getting saved? Paul discusses this in 1 Corinthians 7: 12-16 where we read “But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such [cases]: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save [thy] husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save [thy] wife?” It is possible for the testimony of the saved to win the lost spouse to the Lord. Therefore the Christian should not seek a divorce. However, if the lost spouse chooses to leave the marriage the saved spouse is under to obligation to feel bound by their vows. They are free to remarry, hopefully to a born again Christian where they will make a godly home.
There are also issues that arise from liberal and legalistic attitudes within the Christian home, often these lead to conflicts that cause division and even divorce. In His word the Lord tells us how husband and wife are to behave toward one another and under the eyes of God. With the women lib movement that began during the 1970’s we have seen women step out of the house and into professional working roles of the family. I have no problem with a working wife as long as she understands and accepts her God given role as a wife and mother. That doesn’t mean she has total responsibility for everything in the home while her husband comes home props up his feet and gives orders. God does not accept this behavior from the husband. Likewise God does not accept the wife taking over the role of head of the household. That responsibility was given to man by God and man will be held accountable to God for how they handle or mishandle this responsibility. Just as women will be held accountable to God for how they handle or mishandle the responsibility God has given them as wife. Some references are 1 Corinthians 7:3-5; 1 Peter 3:1-7; 1 Corinthians 11:1-16; Ephesians 5:21-33.
I realize life is difficult and we live in a society that is full of material, liberal, ungodly attitudes. Nevertheless it is necessary for the Christian to point this world to the Lord Jesus Christ but we can not do this if we are following the world. For divorce to stop within the church requires all church members to know they are born again from the blood of Jesus Christ, then we must live our lives in a way that honors God and follows His word. Christians must not be unequally yoked with the world.
Pastor Terry
